An old man calls his son and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced.”

 An elderly man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I have decided to get a divorce. Forty-five years of this misery is enough."

Shocked, the son shouts, "What are you talking about, Dad?"

The father replies, "We can’t stand each other anymore. I’m tired of her, she’s tired of me, and I’m done discussing it. Call your sister and tell her," and then hangs up.

Panicking, the son calls his sister and tells her everything. Furious, she exclaims, "No way they’re getting divorced!" She immediately calls their father.

"Don’t you dare do anything drastic!" she yells. "You’re not getting divorced! My brother and I are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don’t speak to a lawyer or file any paperwork. Do you hear me?" Then she slams the phone down.

The old man turns to his wife with a grin and says, "Well, they’re both coming home for Christmas—and they’re paying for their own tickets!"